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Tuesday, February 10, 2015

I Manifested A Bad Vacation...

Maaan... where do I start?! 

In a nutshell, I was waaaayy overdue for a beach getaway. Towards the end of 2014, things kept coming up that put my vacation getaway on the backburner. Then I reconnected with my old travel agent and asked her to help me find an all-inclusive getaway. We were making headway and then things stalled once her father died suddenly following a stroke. (RIP) At that point I decided to just take matters in my own hands cuz I was going to the beach, come hell or high water. 

After looking a few discount travel sites, I came upon a cruise site I used before. My first cruise was back in 2003 and I got on that boat alone. It was.... an experience. Wasn't horrible but I pretty much vowed not to cruise solo again. Fast forward 12 years later and I'm back on this website.  For what? I was getting hella desperate.

 I found a great deal that worked out with my budget and travel availability. I did a quick airline research and found a great airfare. I called the cruise line first before booking. Here's where red flags started popping up... 

1) I had to pay double the amount posted on the cruise website because the advertised price was based on double occupancy.  -__- 

2) I went back to American Airlines to book the cheap airline fare and was annoyed to find the fare increased by $50. 

3) Leading up to the cruise, I had 1,001 things going on. I could not get in a vacation frame of mind. Couldn't get a haircut, brows groomed or even minor shopping excursion. Hours before I boarded the ship, I was putting out fires and trying to fulfill last minute deadlines. 

I did contemplate for 5 minutes about skipping the vacation. No, come hell or high water I was going to this beach. 

I got on the boat at 2pm in a ball of stress and cloud of negative energy hovering over me. After viewing my stateroom and dropping off my luggage, I headed to the deck for my first rum. I couldn't even get excited about the drink or the view. 

"My inbox is insae. I couldn't get a haircut. My eyebrows need to be trimmed with a weed whacker. Walked all over downtown Miami and could not find a sunglasses shop... The list goes on and on. This vacation is going to happen with or without me, but first let me take a #selfie. 

You see them clouds in picture?! Them clouds stayed with me the entire weekend. It was cold, windy, and effing cloudy. Day 2 of my sailing, we  were to spend the day at CoCo Cay, a private island owned by the cruise line and after choppy water conditions forced the Captain to forgo the destination and head toward Nassau. 

When I found out, I was pissed. I may or may not have cursed at the universe. Out loud. In my stateroom. 30+ hours on a boat. Cabin fever like a mug. Chile....  I drank lots of rum and took a lot of naps because that was all I could do. I was not interested in karaoke and sexiest man contest that was being held at the pool deck. 

Day 3, I woke up to another overcast day in Nassau. It rained overnight and everything was wet. I walked around that deck and I literally had no words. I couldn't even cuss. I got dressed and headed to breakfast. During breakfast the clouds broke away and the sun came out! I started rocking back and forth in my chair and almost muttered out in my Miss Sophia voice: "I knew there was a God!" 

It took me all of 15 minutes to run to my stateroom and throw on a bathing suit and other beach essentials. After navigating thru the port and a short cab ride later, I was on a beach. A beach! 

The guy who sold me a beach chair probably overcharged me for something that was supposed to be free but I didn't care. I purchased a Guinness from the sandbar and read my book. Two whole hours of bliss. 

Two. Whole. Hours. 

Then the motherfuckin' clouds came back. (Clearly, I'm still pissed) 

Thick a$$ clouds that basically said: "nah, Jazzy." 

I packed my ish up, headed back to my stateroom for nap number 10 of the entire weekend. I couldn't get off the boat fast enough once we docked back into Miami. 

Yea, it rained that day too. 

So I basically paid $800+ dollars to do the same ish I could have at home in my condo. #OverIt 

We're not doing that ish again. Not in 12 years. Not in 22 years. 

Universe, I want a refund. 

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